Inclusion Starts with Me

Posted: 5 years ago

Inclusion Starts with Me

It starts with me.

Social gatherings are where I see the difference between my kid with a disability and kids without. It’s where I see the difference between my life alongside him and other parents alongside their neurotypical children. Seeing a party on the calendar makes my heart race and sometimes dread sets in. When we received a birthday invitation recently- I wanted to RSVP ‘no’ because I thought I knew how it would go. But I reluctantly said ‘yes’ instead.

Because it starts with me.

We got to the jump place. Within minutes of walking through the door, my son tried to escape my grasp twice- breaking away once, wanting me to chase him. He then dumped a package of wristbands onto the counter. I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself I was doing the right thing.

Because it starts with me.

Once we were in the room of inflatables, he took a while to get going. He asked me to sit by him on a bench while the other kids bounced from one colorful contraption to the next. I waited and then I pushed. He eventually joined them. He hugged a friend’s neck and I knew the extra stress and work were worth it.

Because it starts with me.

My time at the birthday party was more strained than the other parents with kids his age. I played goalie near an open door, I chased him down a half a dozen times, I redirected more than they did. With all of that said, he did better than I expected. I have said “no” to some events before because preserving my mental health is important. But I will remember when I’m in a good place, when my eyes are clear, and my energy is not empty, I will try to say “yes” as much as possible. Because he had fun, because I saw friendships budding, because inclusion for him is both in and out of the classroom.

And it starts with me.

inclusion starts with parents*

Jillian Benfield

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