I’m Not Enough

Posted: 6 years ago

I’m Not Enough

It’s been a hard day, but before those kinks even started, I was just feeling like I wasn’t enough. Not a good enough mom or wife lately and not good enough to do what I want professionally. The feelings of inadequacy have enveloped me as goals are not being crossed off as quickly as I want and I see my stress affecting my family. And you know what I realized? I’m not enough. I’m not.

That’s not the popular thing to say right now. We are in a culture promoting self-love. And I think that’s a great thing. But, you know why I realized I wasn’t enough? It’s not because I don’t love myself, it’s because I’m not designed to be.

Instead, I was designed to need the One who made me. I was also designed to need those He put in my path.

I’ve been studying God, but I haven’t felt Him, lately. I’ve wanted to reach out to those who can offer guidance, but haven’t had the courage. On my path to self-betterment, I’ve been walking in a way that’s self-reliant.

It’s not enough because I’m not enough. I wasn’t meant to do this on my own. We are not meant to do this on our own. You, me, we are not enough.

The background of this post:
A lot is brewing over here in my corner of the world. More to come on the changes, but right now, just know that January has been busy and tough. I’m having a hard time finding my new groove with all I want to accomplish. I read a devotional by Rick Warren today titled, “Only God Can Provide”. I have to admit, this is a tough concept for me, maybe even the toughest in my faith walk. I think all good things come from above, but I also know He calls us to act. Often I find the balance of relying on Him and relying on myself to make the move a difficult notion for me. What I do know upon reflecting today, is that I haven’t relied on Him enough lately. I haven’t invited him into my day throughout the day. I’ve been doing this transition largely by myself and it needs to change.

Jillian Benfield

I used to be a resurrection person

I used to be a resurrection person. I used to want to skip over the messiness of holy week—the betrayal, the trial, the torture. I

Glass art Marriages

My husband and I have been through hell and back. More than once. We were broken for a time, yes. But instead of staying that

You have permission to live at a different pace than what was once required of you

I wonder if you’re someone who has lived life as if it were an emergency…because it was. Perhaps you’re like me and walked the halls

why i wouldn’t takeaway the pain of my past

“If you could go back and take it away- would you?” My husband asked me this question over a fancy dinner this past weekend. After

Speaker Inquiries & Requests

For all media inquiries, please contact

The Gift of the Unexpected

What if the unexpected is the beginning of becoming your truest self?

Jillian Benfield was living life in the spotlight as a TV journalist, but after receiving a life-altering diagnosis for her unborn son, she realized no camera-ready outfit could dress up her grief. Overcoming this unexpected circumstance wasn’t an option. She would have to undergo it instead. In doing so, she discovered who she was and who God wanted her to become.

In this riveting story filled with grit and grace, Jillian helps you break down the false constructs you’ve built around God and your identity. You won’t avoid your pain, but you’ll learn to feel it, in a healing way. And you’ll discover how your internal transformation leads to external purpose.

No matter what you’re going through, you’re invited to open this gift: The Gift of the Unexpected

The book is available on