Dear Kids, Don’t Settle in Love

Posted: 5 years ago

Dear Kids, Don’t Settle in Love

Dear Kids,

Don’t settle in love.

Eleven years ago, today, I chose your father. Before this day, my life looked pretty set. I was doing well in school, and the boyfriend I had been dating for six years had a savings account for an engagement ring. I was comfortable in the direction I was heading.

Then your dad came around. I could have ignored him, but something told me not to. I listened. One night he put it all on the line and I told him I needed a week to decide. I watched him closely that week; not just how he treated me, but others. I watched him chat it up with the guy who looked a bit lonely. I watched him prepare for a test intensely. I watched him not leave my side at a party where he knew everyone. And then on this day eleven years ago, I knew. I knew I would never wear that that engagement ring my boyfriend had been saving for. At a football game where our team came out on top, I saw the infectious joy he possessed, and I wanted to catch it again and again.

You see kids, my life was good without him. But that night, I took a risk, because I realized it could be even better with him. Under the stadium lights, surrounded by 90,000 other people, I realized he was better for me.

It was scary. It was worth it. It’s a risk I’ve never regretted.

One day you will learn about our lives and realize they were far from perfect. We’ve experienced grief and heartache. But we’ve always had each other. The foundation was laid before life’s difficult way about it came knocking.

A great love is not always easy, you have to put in the work no matter how wonderful your connection may be. But, one day you will find yourselves being tossed out to sea, and a great love has a way of throwing down an anchor, and even finding a way to find a few laughs as the waves come crashing all around.

Don’t settle for a comfortable love. Find a love that’s great. Because when it feels like everything is falling apart, you will still feel as if you have everything you need in each other.

Love,

Mom

Jillian Benfield

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